There’s no doubt that when a child has special needs they receive different attention from the parents. It’s necessary to keep the child moving forward from a physical, mental and emotional perspective. The time invested in research, networking, doctor and therapy appointments literally becomes a full-time job. But what happens to those siblings who also need parenting?

In our family, we went through cycles of learning and understanding about both of our children’s needs. When we did not recognize what our daughter (who was not diagnosed with learning disabilities until adulthood) needed from us, she let us know. Loud and clear. “Ever since B got this ADHD thing, it’s like I don’t exist!” our 10-year-old pleaded with me. My husband and I always said our kids were smarter than the two of us combined.

By that time we realized that our daughter needed more than we were giving. She had also just made the decision to pursue her passion in gymnastics at the expense of all other sports. That was the key to connection for our family. We put as much focus into our daughter’s gymnastics as we had been putting into supporting our son’s challenges. When she felt that connection through our dedication to what was important to her, she appeared to stop blaming her brother for taking all of the attention. That was key to solidifying their sibling relationship, which is by my estimation, one of the primary keys to social success.